The grass isn't always greener...

Today I'm using my blog to vent and maybe I will find some healing in the process. A few days ago I learned my dad and step mom will not be joining us for Thanksgiving. I haven't had the nerve yet, to tell my kids because as sad as I am, I know it will be more so for them. Holidays are always difficult for me because they remind me of all I don't have...family. Both my husband and I have small families who live in other states who seldom make the trek to Buffalo, even when it's not snowing. Yes, I have been blessed with two beautiful children and an amazingly supportive loving husband and I thank God for them everyday. This is where the guilt comes in. Shouldn't I be grateful for what I do have...a comfortable home, food on my plate, clothing on my back, good schools for my kids and and most of all my beautiful children and husband? Particularly with what I see everyday with my job and the people I help on a regular basis who have so little and are so grateful for what we provide for them through Wear 'n Share. But you know what so many of the families have that we help....family. They may not have as big of a Thanksgiving meal this year as we would have, but they have each other. I envy them for their large extended families who are there for them through thick and thin. I see so much love when I visit the homes I go to with clothing to share....grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, all living together providing support and love. These families stick together despite their differences and economic situations because they are family. Maybe that's partially why I do what I do. I have so much admiration for them. I always say the families I help give me back so much more than I give them. I guess I enjoy seeing the love they share and the determination they have to stay together and seek the best life they can have. They have many tragic stories, but they persevere together. It's amazing what strength a strong family can give you. So, I will do as I always do and put on my happy face and do my best to make Thanksgiving and Christmas the joyous occasions they should be for my children. They may not have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins for their holidays, but they will have two parents who love and adore them and some amazing friends who love them like family. And hopefully we can be the generation of change for them. Someday when they have kids of their own we will do our best to give them big crazy holidays with kids running around, squabbles between siblings and lots of noise of laughter, talking, dishes clanking, and love, the holidays that dreams are made of.

How it all started...my personal story

It's been 2 years now since I started Wear 'n Share. I look back in amazement at all that has happened in the last 2 years and how much this charity has grown and how many lives have been touched through it. I never dreamed it would grow to be this big, but somehow I knew it was my calling. I'm often asked why I started Wear 'n Share. It's quite a personal story, and I usually only share part of the story which is the idea of it. I had been sitting in my children's pediatrician's office and I had read an article about a teacher who had kids who couldn't attend her school because their parents couldn't afford shoes. And I thought if these kids don't stay in school how will they ever have a chance of breaking the cycle of poverty they are living in? Then I thought about my own kids and all their outgrown shoes and clothing just sitting in boxes in our basement, but I didn't know how to get them directly into the hands of these families who need them. And surely their are other mothers like myself. I need to find a way to pool our resources and reach these families. Thus, the idea of Wear 'n Share was conceived. But I didn't actually start it until 2 years later. This is the more personal part of the story.

When I speak of "a calling", it's an innate feeling that we are meant to do something bigger than ourselves. I had always felt even since I was a young child that I was on a mission of some kind. I know it sounds kind of crazy. My dad used to call it "faith", but as a little girl who didn't go to church at the time, faith was a foreign language to me. Although I do remember sitting in front of the TV on Sundays every once in awhile watching local church broadcasts trying to figure out what faith was, longing for answers and maybe a closer relationship with God, but not understanding why or how.

Time passed, the little girl grew up and had children of her own, I found my faith and God, but still had this indescribable calling I couldn't understand. Until a monumental time in my life when my second and last child was going to be going to kindergarten. I had been a stay-at-home mom for 8 years and devoted this time to raising my children. Both my "babies" were going to be leaving the nest and suddenly I had to figure out who I was again. I had not worked in 8 years, was 40-something, still wanted to be home when my kids got home from school, and wanted my summers off. Who wouldn't want to hire me?! Not to mention, I had lost my identity. My children had been my whole world for the last 8 years and somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I didn't even know what I liked to do anymore or what I was good at besides being a mom. I became very depressed. It was the darkest period of my life.

We went to visit my Dad and step mom in Iowa. They live on a horse ranch. Going there is about as close to heaven on earth as I can get. Life just seems to slow down and you are one with the land, the animals, nature, and family. It seemed the perfect place for me to find my way out of the darkness. While there, I decided to go on a run/hike through the country. Midway through, I knelt to the ground and cried and prayed as if my life depended on it and begged God to show me the way, just to tell me how to find my way out of the darkness and back to the light again. I had not realized until that moment that I had been completely shutting God out of my life until then. I don't know if I blamed him for my sorrow, or if I was ashamed that I wasn't appreciating all the good in my life and taking it for granted. Either way, this was the first time in a long time I had reached out to Him for strength, guidance and direction. All I knew was that at that moment, I felt completely and utterly hopeless and I needed Him more than I ever had before.

When I returned and was taking my shoes off from my run my husband said, "Maybe you should think about giving this charity idea of yours a try". And there was my message from God. He didn't waste any time! Obviously He knew how impatient I could be. Almost instantly my mind started swimming with ideas, I met with my Pastor just as soon as we got back from our trip, who ironically is now a counselor in the same building Wear 'n Share is in, to determine if this idea was feasible and to bounce some ideas off of him. Then it all just started coming together, and as Wear 'n Share developed, the darkness subsided and there was light again, brighter than ever before. I knew that at last I had found my calling, that sometimes out of the darkest places the brightest lights can shine if you open your heart and let God show you the way.

I haven't shut Him out of my life since then and He continues to guide me on this journey to help families in need. I know that Wear 'n Share is a success through the grace of God. I am constantly amazed at how at every obstacle, with a little prayer, He guides me to find a solution and I know it's because my dreams are not just my own now, but for all the people who are touched by Wear 'n Share.

I'm Back!!!!

Yes, I realize it's been awhile. You know how we let life get in the way of things we enjoy doing, well that's what has happened here, and quite frankly, I wasn't really sure if anyone was even reading my blog anyway so I let it go. But then, a dear friend of mine said she had quoted something I had written in my blog to a mother who was going through a difficult time and I thought, maybe this is worth doing. Because if something I said can make a difference in even one person's life and just one person reads this, then it was worth writing. And ironically, that same dear friend has agreed to partner with me to take on the responsibility of Wear 'n Share which now allows me to have the time to write in my blog again. Funny how life works, huh?

So a few things have happened since my last entry... Wear 'n Share is now located in the B.L.E.S.S. (Better Life Enrichment Support Services) Community Outreach Center Building located at 9365 Clarence Center Road. We are in a nice huge, dry space with tons of hanging room with a convenient drive up and drop off donation spot. We has our first fundraiser in collaboration with the BLESS Corp to earn funds to pay for our expenses to be housed in this great new space and made over $6000! Woo hoo! We also received our first grant which allowed us to purchase a washer and dryer and all our beautiful new fixturing for our clothing. A local boy scout troop is working on creating a beautiful wall of shelves for our men's and women's pants which will make our organizing so much more efficient! Our heater's broken, our ceiling is crumbling, our wiring is questionable, our paint is peeling, our landscaping is, to put it kindly- wildflowers- but our donations of clothing our plentiful, our space is cozy and dry, our volunteers are cheery and happy to work, and the requests for clothing are ample so we are truly blessed.

Now let me share with you an amazing story of a community coming together in a time of need and an amazing group of deserving kids. I received a submission from our website from a coach from the Crucial Center on Mossele who runs a basketball program he kindly calls J.U.M.P. (Jesus Understands My Prayers). One of the requirements of the program is that the kids need to wear shorts/sweats and sneakers. The director told him 90% of the kids don't have these items, which basically means these kids who would love to be able to play on his team won't be able to without our help. He sent us a very heartfelt message asking if there was anything we could do for these kids. Of course, I thought, Jesus isn't the only one who understands your prayers, or maybe he sent you our way. I sent out an email to our Wear 'n Share volunteers and within a day, we had our donations overflowing with sneakers, tshirts, and shorts and Kohl's gave us a nice discount to purchase a few extra to make sure we could cover the few extra sizes when they had new players sign up. Once again, as in many times in the past, our community gathered its resources and came together to make sure we were able to have something for every kid on the team!

We delivered the items last night as the kids were at practice. Everything stopped when we showed up with our bags of goodies. We met the coach and his wife who both teach all these 30+ kids ranging in ages from 6-18 years of age. You could have heard a pin drop when he told the story of how he contacted us for help when their parents said they couldn't play on the team because they didn't have the clothes or shoes they needed. But he knew he could find a way to make sure they could play and how Wear 'n Share and our community gathered together to make sure they could. He told them how important it was for them to thank us for what we did for them and how important it was. If I didn't have all those 30 beautiful children looking at me with their beautiful grateful faces I surely would have broken down in tears. I really wanted to hug every one of them and say. You guys stick with this program, stay in school, you have your whole lives ahead of you, you're going to be okay....something amazing or profound, but I just smiled and nodded and walked out into the pouring rain, got back into my car and felt humbled by the whole experience. I just don't think there are words for it. But I do know this, we were invited to attend one of their basketball games so they're going to send us the schedule, and I can guarantee I will be proudly going to cheer those boys on, not just for that night or the game, but for what it symbolizes, this J.U.M.P. program and the pride that it brings these kids. These coaches are doing some amazing work with these kids and I feel privileged to be part of it.

Even someone with a little faith has the ability to do great things

This morning I was honored to attend Eastern Hills Wesleyan Church's MOPS meeting. First of all, let me tell you what an amazing group of women these ladies are! There was a lot of love and support in that little room. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to share my story with them and for all their support of Wear 'n Share and the families they're helping.

Secondly, in preparation for this meeting I did a lot of soul searching and once I did, I was amazed that there is so much m0re to the Wear 'n Share story and what brought me to start this ministry. When I look back on some of the crisis in my life, I now realize these experiences, as awful as they were at the time, created the person I am today. Had I not suffered some of the "life lessons" I had, I would not be going on to use my God-given talents to help others. It's a testament to me that even someone with a little faith can go on to do great things if they dig deep enough and BELIEVE. So take some time today for yourself. Reflect on your life, not just the good, in fact, we can learn more from the bad. All those situations were turning points in your life creating the "you today." How can you use your life experiences to help others around you? I can guarantee you that right now someone is facing the worst thing you've ever faced in your life and would love to know how to get through it. Can you help them? Can you find a way to turn those negative experiences that occurred in your life into lessons for others? Can you find a way to support them and show them how to not only get through it, but prosper? It may sound like a monumental task, but do some brainstorming. You have so much to give and you may not even realize it.

I have so many people ask me, "How do you find the time to do all you do with Wear 'n Share and take care of your family?" And I say, "Through God's grace." When you stop focusing so much time and energy on yourself and your own happiness and start to focus it on helping those that can't help themselves, great things will happen to you. Really! I won't say it's always easy and God didn't give me an extra hour everyday just because I'm using the talents He gave me for others. But He does provide. When life gets crazy at home, Wear 'n Share slows down a little and when Wear 'n Share gets hectic, life at home becomes more manageable. Since I have committed my life to helping others, it just all seems to work out easier and I'm happier than I've ever been. Try it yourself! Pull out the worst experience you've dealt with in your past (drugs, alcohol, bullying, sexual abuse, violence, poverty, divorce, death of a loved one, depression, diseases or illnesses, etc. )and find an organization or church that helps others deal with experiences such as yours and volunteer to help. You will be amazed at the people you can heal by sharing your experiences as painful as they can be, and you will find it will heal you as well. The experiences you lived through happened to you for a reason. Figure out why and you will find acceptance, peace, and true happiness and you may affect many lives in a positive way because of it. Remember, even someone with a little faith has the ability to do great things...just believe enough, and put yourself out there a little, and God will help you the rest of the way.

Wear 'n Share is here for as long as families need us

Today I delivered to two "repeat customers". I had delivered clothing to these families in September and they contacted me again for summer clothing. It feels good to have families calling back, knowing we're here for them to relieve some of the financial pressure and that we will continue to be here as long as they need us. And oh how I love my uniform deliveries to the schools! I'm so grateful to the many generous donations of uniform clothing that continue to come my way. When I did a drop off at a school last week the counselor said, "I wish you could see the children's faces when they see these donations. It means so much to them." Just by her saying that, it was enough for me. I left teary-eyed, thinking, this is what it's all about....just knowing little lives are being positively affected and maybe changed because of what I'm doing here. My hope is that some of the lives we are impacting will go on to impact others in the same way.... to continue the circle of giving.

We're back in business!

Okay, my last blog was a little depressing, I apologize. But just when you think there's no hope, alas, along come the requests. I decided to spend last Friday digging my heels in and contacting some organizations that have been on my radar for awhile in addition to refreshing the memories of those I'm already working with to let them know we're still here. And it worked! Just one day of effort will reach so many! Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to continue this journey and have faith that I can do it, even when I lose faith in myself. I've added 2 organizations who are already keeping me very busy and refreshed some contacts I've been working with to get help to some new families in need. There is so much good work to do!

And I have such wonderful news! A church from the city is moving into Clarence Center and they are looking to do a community outreach building! We've had conversations and all seems to be moving in the right direction that Wear 'n Share will soon have a new bigger home. Yeah!!!!

So let me share one more story to continue on this happy blog. This week I was so proud to be able to help a family who devotes their life to helping others. This family spends 3 years at a time in Tanzania helping with the relief/development initiative going on there to help families build their lives. Clothing is hard to come by there and very expensive so I was so happy to help clothe their children for their journey knowing that when they outgrow their clothing they will "pay it forward" by passing along their clothes to Tanzania children in need. It's what Wear 'n Share's "circle of giving" is all about!

The Good News and The Bad News

I always like to start with the bad news because then I can end on a happy note. So here it is.... Wear 'n Share has to temporarily stop taking donations. I never imagined in only 10 short months I would already be outgrowing a space I thougth I would be using for years to come. We're buried in boxes of clothing with nowhere to go. It really saddens me that we're sitting on all these beautiful clothing and we're not getting them to the families in need. This is my greatest distress. I have created this wonderful ministry, we have an amazing outpouring from of donations from a community so willing to help, and yet I'm having difficulty reaching the families who need it. So it's time to hit the groung running again and try to reach more churches and organizations to find them. I'm so perplexed when I do contact an organization who I know has families who need Wear 'n Share's help and they don't follow up. I try to think of the obvious reasons... lack of time and resources, not sure it they can trust me, etc., but aren't our children worth the time, sacrifice, and risk? God, please show me the way to cut through the red tape to help those in need. This ministry can only be successful if I'm reaching those that truly need the help. But I can't do it alone. I need the people who know the people and work with the people and live with the people who need the help to contact me so I can help them. I don't have my hand on the pulse of those in need. I'm counting on those that do to help me reach out to them. My hope is that no child in Buffalo and surrounding areas should be without clothing. I may not be able to break the cycle of poverty, but at least I can keep these children clothed. Or can I? Is this task too great? I once thought I could, but today I'm filled with doubt.

Okay, now the good news.... Wear 'n Share may soon be moving to a new space! Bigger and better with hanging bars and shelves! Our fate isn't yet certain, but it's looking promising. I'm hopeful that once in this new space, all the time I've been devoting to trying to relocate can be used to try to reach out to more organizations, churches and schools who help families in need. So I'm hopeful that soon my doubt will be replaced with joy at the new prospect of helping more children and expanding this ministry further. So I'll try to focus on the good news, which should bring good news to more families in need. Wear 'n Share is here people! Let us help!