The grass isn't always greener...

Today I'm using my blog to vent and maybe I will find some healing in the process. A few days ago I learned my dad and step mom will not be joining us for Thanksgiving. I haven't had the nerve yet, to tell my kids because as sad as I am, I know it will be more so for them. Holidays are always difficult for me because they remind me of all I don't have...family. Both my husband and I have small families who live in other states who seldom make the trek to Buffalo, even when it's not snowing. Yes, I have been blessed with two beautiful children and an amazingly supportive loving husband and I thank God for them everyday. This is where the guilt comes in. Shouldn't I be grateful for what I do have...a comfortable home, food on my plate, clothing on my back, good schools for my kids and and most of all my beautiful children and husband? Particularly with what I see everyday with my job and the people I help on a regular basis who have so little and are so grateful for what we provide for them through Wear 'n Share. But you know what so many of the families have that we help....family. They may not have as big of a Thanksgiving meal this year as we would have, but they have each other. I envy them for their large extended families who are there for them through thick and thin. I see so much love when I visit the homes I go to with clothing to share....grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, all living together providing support and love. These families stick together despite their differences and economic situations because they are family. Maybe that's partially why I do what I do. I have so much admiration for them. I always say the families I help give me back so much more than I give them. I guess I enjoy seeing the love they share and the determination they have to stay together and seek the best life they can have. They have many tragic stories, but they persevere together. It's amazing what strength a strong family can give you. So, I will do as I always do and put on my happy face and do my best to make Thanksgiving and Christmas the joyous occasions they should be for my children. They may not have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins for their holidays, but they will have two parents who love and adore them and some amazing friends who love them like family. And hopefully we can be the generation of change for them. Someday when they have kids of their own we will do our best to give them big crazy holidays with kids running around, squabbles between siblings and lots of noise of laughter, talking, dishes clanking, and love, the holidays that dreams are made of.