Last week I was honored to receive Child & Family Services Friendship Award for the work Wear 'n Share does for their foster families. I was served a wonderful dinner while sitting in a room surrounded by heroes.
Let me start with the amazing group of enthusiastic and compassionate people who work for Child & Family Services. These are people who make it their personal mission to serve families and ensure a safe environment for their children so they can have every opportunity to stay together and flourish. But, when there are struggles and obstacles, our other heroes come in, the foster families. I sat with several in awe as I listened to their personal stories. One couple told of how they had their first placement, an 18 month old baby who they naturally fell in love with. After caring for him for 8 months, his family was ready to take him back into their home. They shared their heartbreak and told us how their 6 year old son cried for days after losing the baby who quickly became his little brother. And the counselor at our table expressed to them what an amazing gift they had given this family...time to heal when they needed it, so they could be strong enough to raise their little baby when they were ready. The couple smiled with understanding and said as difficult as it was, they were ready for their next foster child, looking forward to providing the love and comfort for any child who needed no matter how long or short the need.
The woman to my right was working with Child & Family Services to help her adopt her foster child permanently. She was a friend and neighbor of the mother of this 11 year old girl with special needs. I struggle to find the words to write this as there is just no kind way to say it, but the mother didn't want her daughter and her friend took her in and cared for her. She is now in a long process of gaining custody and my heart goes out to her as she fights this battle. She is the only "mother" this girl has ever known in the true sense of what being a mother means.
Across the room a foster family was being honored for all the amazing work they had done taking in so many foster children. They had loved being foster parents so much that the father is now a counselor with Conner's Children's Center, a division of Child & Family Services that provides a home for children who are no longer with their families due to personal situations.
So there I was receiving Wear 'n Share's award for all the work we have done to help children like these. As puffed up and proud as I was to be receiving this award, my efforts seemed so small in comparison to the people I was surrounded with who give their hearts, bodies, and souls to help children who can't help themselves. I was honored to be among such heroes. While I was so grateful to Child & Family Services for their acknowledgement, what I most appreciated was to spend a little time with the people who reminded me why I do the work I do. If I can take a little burden away from these families, and let these children know there are people out there who care enough to give a little of themselves to make sure they are okay, then my mission is a success. Thank you to Child & Family Services and their foster families for sharing this incredible evening with me and for giving so much of yourselves to the many children and families you touch.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Sunday, December 4, 2011
What I learned from Bernie
Last week I was contacted by one of our own who suffered a house fire. She is a part time social worker, in addition to 2 other jobs she holds to keep her family in a comfortable "safe" home. She is married with 2 boys and she lost all her belongings including their family pets in this fire that started at 4:00AM while they were all sleeping. As a social worker she deals with loss on a daily basis with her clients, so she told me, "I should know how to handle this better", but as we all know when faced with a tragedy yourself, no words can describe the grief or our process for dealing with it.
Bernie showed up at Wear 'n Share in her mother's SUV expecting a few bags of clothing to begin to rebuild her life. From the moment I met her, I wished I could do more as she fell apart crying with our first hug. You could just see the weight of the world on her face, but all she kept saying was “I can’t believe all this!” While we normally just provide clothing for our clients, I spent the next few days after our conversation reaching out to our Clarence community to pull together some household items, cleaning supplies, bedding, etc. As always, I too was overwhelmed, but not surprised at how our friends and neighbors can come together to help a family in need. We are truly blessed by the people we know and who come through for us time and again.
I learned a lot about Bernie as we searched through bras and underwear for her and picked out hats and gloves for the family. Her home had been her husband’s parents who were missionaries. They took over the mortgage and just never bothered to purchase homeowners insurance, something she feels so guilty about. As I mentioned, she works 3 jobs, but admittedly didn’t save a dime. She said how ridiculous it seems now that they had to have a 60 inch T.V. instead of purchasing insurance. The guilt hits her again while she says this and she has to have a moment to gather herself. I shared my speech with her about how I know it’s hard to see right now, but there is a reason for this and she will understand in time. The words felt hollow, as I felt there was nothing I could really say to ease her grief. And then I told her about when my step-sister who is a Doctor was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully she is now a “survivor”, but as horrible as it all was, she can now look back on her experience and say it has changed her in so many positive ways. One being, that she is so much more empathetic with her patients who she used to be so clinical with when going through such life-threatening tragedies. So I said maybe this will help you to have a new understanding and compassion for your clients and be able to help them in ways you were never able to before. And then I thought in my head, maybe it’s a reminder to us all about what’s really important, the latest iphone or in her words, “60 inch T.V.”, or is it more about ensuring our family is taken care of and our kids are safe. We as a society have become overwhelmed with “keeping up with the Jones’” so to speak, and making sure we have everything and more for our families. What can we all lose by putting greed before need? Thank you Bernie, for reminding me.
I’m sharing Bernie’s story with all of you, first of all, to thank those of you who dropped things off with me throughout the night and this morning and those of you who keep Bernie and her family in your prayers. It truly means more than I can say. But also, to remind us all about what’s really important, so that maybe Bernie’s story can touch us a little the way you have all touched her.
When she left today we hugged and we both cried of course. I told her “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you’re going to be okay”, and for the first time since I had spent with her, she smiled a small but beautiful smile and said, “You know, for the first time since this happened I actually feel like that’s true, for what you did for me today.” And I walked away thinking, we gave her so much more than clothing, shoes, towels, and “things”, we gave her hope.
Bernie showed up at Wear 'n Share in her mother's SUV expecting a few bags of clothing to begin to rebuild her life. From the moment I met her, I wished I could do more as she fell apart crying with our first hug. You could just see the weight of the world on her face, but all she kept saying was “I can’t believe all this!” While we normally just provide clothing for our clients, I spent the next few days after our conversation reaching out to our Clarence community to pull together some household items, cleaning supplies, bedding, etc. As always, I too was overwhelmed, but not surprised at how our friends and neighbors can come together to help a family in need. We are truly blessed by the people we know and who come through for us time and again.
I learned a lot about Bernie as we searched through bras and underwear for her and picked out hats and gloves for the family. Her home had been her husband’s parents who were missionaries. They took over the mortgage and just never bothered to purchase homeowners insurance, something she feels so guilty about. As I mentioned, she works 3 jobs, but admittedly didn’t save a dime. She said how ridiculous it seems now that they had to have a 60 inch T.V. instead of purchasing insurance. The guilt hits her again while she says this and she has to have a moment to gather herself. I shared my speech with her about how I know it’s hard to see right now, but there is a reason for this and she will understand in time. The words felt hollow, as I felt there was nothing I could really say to ease her grief. And then I told her about when my step-sister who is a Doctor was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully she is now a “survivor”, but as horrible as it all was, she can now look back on her experience and say it has changed her in so many positive ways. One being, that she is so much more empathetic with her patients who she used to be so clinical with when going through such life-threatening tragedies. So I said maybe this will help you to have a new understanding and compassion for your clients and be able to help them in ways you were never able to before. And then I thought in my head, maybe it’s a reminder to us all about what’s really important, the latest iphone or in her words, “60 inch T.V.”, or is it more about ensuring our family is taken care of and our kids are safe. We as a society have become overwhelmed with “keeping up with the Jones’” so to speak, and making sure we have everything and more for our families. What can we all lose by putting greed before need? Thank you Bernie, for reminding me.
I’m sharing Bernie’s story with all of you, first of all, to thank those of you who dropped things off with me throughout the night and this morning and those of you who keep Bernie and her family in your prayers. It truly means more than I can say. But also, to remind us all about what’s really important, so that maybe Bernie’s story can touch us a little the way you have all touched her.
When she left today we hugged and we both cried of course. I told her “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you’re going to be okay”, and for the first time since I had spent with her, she smiled a small but beautiful smile and said, “You know, for the first time since this happened I actually feel like that’s true, for what you did for me today.” And I walked away thinking, we gave her so much more than clothing, shoes, towels, and “things”, we gave her hope.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
A reminder...
Today was a rough morning for me, forced to face an inevitable outcome with one of my children. As a parent, we want to protect our children and give them the best possible "normal" life we can, and then you start to realize that life doesn't always give your children all you could hope for them. So we do our best to guide them with a lot of love and give them the help and support they need to live as "normal" a life as they possibly can, right? Isn't that all we can do and should do? Meanwhile we try to keep ourselves from crumbling into pieces because we need to be strong, and our crumbling will only scare them and make them fear what you are trying so hard to help them deal with positively. And just as I have some time alone to let the avalanche fall while no one else is around to see, I stop for a moment to read my emails and come across one from Child & Family Services, an organization Wear 'n Share works with regularly. I want to share it with you below:
Friends at Wear 'N Share,
You are important to us because you believe in our work, and appreciate and understand the need for our services. For this reason, I am sharing the email, below, that was sent from one of our employees to another. It tells a very powerful story and will confirm why you support our mission.
Hi Mark,
We don’t know each other but I had to write to you. This morning, outside my office, I heard screams. When I looked out the window to see what was going on, I saw you standing near a boy. He was lying on the ground, near a stone wall. He grabbed a very large rock and a handful of dirt, and threw them at your face. I held my breath. I was appalled by his behavior and fearful about how you would respond.
Things then moved quickly – you stepped closer; he threw more dirt in your face; you tossed your keys and cell phone out of your pocket; he kicked you and threw rocks at you; he tried to take off his shirt and you did all you could to keep it on him. He wasn't a small boy – he was strong and angry and fighting with everything he had. You were both on the ground, dirty and bleeding. Suddenly it occurred to me that one of the things you were doing was keeping him safe – from himself. You were protecting him from hitting his head on the stone wall.
Within a few minutes a woman approached, with a cup in her hand. When he saw her, things began to slow down. He accepted the cup and ate what was in it. It looked like ice.
As he ate, you didn't express concern for your dirty clothes, the bruises I am certain he gave you, or the craziness of what just happened. You knelt next to the boy, rubbed his back, wiped the dirt and leaves off his clothes, and talked to him. And while you did all that, I was wiping the tears from my face. I was moved by your compassion, and embarrassed that I thought the worst of him, and you.
Once he was calm, you walked away, together. You had your hand placed on his shoulder, not to control him but to let him know you were there for him.
As I watched the entire scene unfold, my emotions ran the gamut - I feared for you; I was angry at him; I questioned what he’d been through to make him behave that way; and I felt so sad that the entire thing had happened. However in the end, I was completely overwhelmed by your presence of mind and capabilities. I wish everyone associated with our agency – donors, board, leadership, volunteers – saw what I saw today. They’d feel the same.
I think what you did was incredible on a professional level, but also on a human level. I am so grateful he has you and everyone else at Child & family Services to understand him, respond to his behaviors appropriately and then – above all else – accept and respect him. You, and the entire front line staff at this agency, have my complete admiration and appreciation for your patience, dedication and kindness.
And, I’m crying again.
Here's some background information on the boy in this email... eleven year old Jayden is cared for at our Conners Children’s Center. Like most children at Conners, he was neglected and/or abused by adults meant to care for him. His parents' rights were terminated in 2008 and they have not been involved in his life since. As a result, he feels unwanted. He's understandably very angry and lives with shame, hurt and guilt.
This very heavy burden has made Jayden extremely anxious and agitated, and he is in a constant state of turmoil. When he feels he has been pushed to the brink, he has outbursts and sometimes becomes violent toward himself or others. He is simply unable to calm himself or control his actions. He has been diagnosed as being severely emotionally disturbed.
Fortunately, because of you, Conners Children’s Center is here for Jayden. Conners provides structured, 24 hour treatment to help children experience success and happiness. Children are treated with respect and dignity, and made to feel special, often for the first time in their lives. They are involved in healthy relationships and have positive role models, like Mark, in their lives.
Through counseling and other activities the children learn appropriate behaviors and self-control. They establish calming choices - courses of action that soothe them - such as listening to music, coloring, taking a walk or playing a sport. One of Jayden’s calming choices is ice. When he is upset, he becomes uncomfortably warm, which is why he was trying to remove his shirt. A cup of ice helps him to re-focus, cool himself and regain his self-control.
You’ve made things better for Jayden. While he still has a long road ahead of him, he is now in a safe and supportive place, learning important life skills and experiencing success.
Wear 'n Share has spent many days bringing clothing to the children at Conners. In addition to our regular role to provide clothing for individuals who need help, we also have helped them by contributing over 80 white t-shirts for their kids to paint on during the summer, and we've brought bags of baseball caps to keep the sun off their faces while they played outside- doesn't seem like much for an average person, but this can be a luxury item for some, just like socks and underwear.
So when I read this email about this 11 year old boy, only one year older than my son, I was so touched and thought, where were Jayden's parents when he needed them the most? Where are they now? And then I realized I am doing enough for my son, just by being here for him to answer the questions he may have, to support him in his journey, and just to love him, the most important gift we can give our children. And I was also reminded of how through Wear 'n Share we have helped so many kids like Jayden, and likely even Jayden himself, through our clothing donations. We may not be able to give him the love and support of parents, and thank God for Child & Family Services who are doing their best to give him that, but maybe even the littlest bit, we are helping him to feel that someone cares, many someones really, by giving him a soft sweater or a warm winter coat, or even a baseball cap.
So as tough as my day has started out, I've been sent a little reminder that it's going to be okay. I am grateful to be here for my son, and I am grateful to be able to do the work I do to be there for other sons and daughters, maybe on a smaller scale, but still making an impact on their lives. Thank you God, for reminding me.
Friends at Wear 'N Share,
You are important to us because you believe in our work, and appreciate and understand the need for our services. For this reason, I am sharing the email, below, that was sent from one of our employees to another. It tells a very powerful story and will confirm why you support our mission.
Hi Mark,
We don’t know each other but I had to write to you. This morning, outside my office, I heard screams. When I looked out the window to see what was going on, I saw you standing near a boy. He was lying on the ground, near a stone wall. He grabbed a very large rock and a handful of dirt, and threw them at your face. I held my breath. I was appalled by his behavior and fearful about how you would respond.
Things then moved quickly – you stepped closer; he threw more dirt in your face; you tossed your keys and cell phone out of your pocket; he kicked you and threw rocks at you; he tried to take off his shirt and you did all you could to keep it on him. He wasn't a small boy – he was strong and angry and fighting with everything he had. You were both on the ground, dirty and bleeding. Suddenly it occurred to me that one of the things you were doing was keeping him safe – from himself. You were protecting him from hitting his head on the stone wall.
Within a few minutes a woman approached, with a cup in her hand. When he saw her, things began to slow down. He accepted the cup and ate what was in it. It looked like ice.
As he ate, you didn't express concern for your dirty clothes, the bruises I am certain he gave you, or the craziness of what just happened. You knelt next to the boy, rubbed his back, wiped the dirt and leaves off his clothes, and talked to him. And while you did all that, I was wiping the tears from my face. I was moved by your compassion, and embarrassed that I thought the worst of him, and you.
Once he was calm, you walked away, together. You had your hand placed on his shoulder, not to control him but to let him know you were there for him.
As I watched the entire scene unfold, my emotions ran the gamut - I feared for you; I was angry at him; I questioned what he’d been through to make him behave that way; and I felt so sad that the entire thing had happened. However in the end, I was completely overwhelmed by your presence of mind and capabilities. I wish everyone associated with our agency – donors, board, leadership, volunteers – saw what I saw today. They’d feel the same.
I think what you did was incredible on a professional level, but also on a human level. I am so grateful he has you and everyone else at Child & family Services to understand him, respond to his behaviors appropriately and then – above all else – accept and respect him. You, and the entire front line staff at this agency, have my complete admiration and appreciation for your patience, dedication and kindness.
And, I’m crying again.
Here's some background information on the boy in this email... eleven year old Jayden is cared for at our Conners Children’s Center. Like most children at Conners, he was neglected and/or abused by adults meant to care for him. His parents' rights were terminated in 2008 and they have not been involved in his life since. As a result, he feels unwanted. He's understandably very angry and lives with shame, hurt and guilt.
This very heavy burden has made Jayden extremely anxious and agitated, and he is in a constant state of turmoil. When he feels he has been pushed to the brink, he has outbursts and sometimes becomes violent toward himself or others. He is simply unable to calm himself or control his actions. He has been diagnosed as being severely emotionally disturbed.
Fortunately, because of you, Conners Children’s Center is here for Jayden. Conners provides structured, 24 hour treatment to help children experience success and happiness. Children are treated with respect and dignity, and made to feel special, often for the first time in their lives. They are involved in healthy relationships and have positive role models, like Mark, in their lives.
Through counseling and other activities the children learn appropriate behaviors and self-control. They establish calming choices - courses of action that soothe them - such as listening to music, coloring, taking a walk or playing a sport. One of Jayden’s calming choices is ice. When he is upset, he becomes uncomfortably warm, which is why he was trying to remove his shirt. A cup of ice helps him to re-focus, cool himself and regain his self-control.
You’ve made things better for Jayden. While he still has a long road ahead of him, he is now in a safe and supportive place, learning important life skills and experiencing success.
Wear 'n Share has spent many days bringing clothing to the children at Conners. In addition to our regular role to provide clothing for individuals who need help, we also have helped them by contributing over 80 white t-shirts for their kids to paint on during the summer, and we've brought bags of baseball caps to keep the sun off their faces while they played outside- doesn't seem like much for an average person, but this can be a luxury item for some, just like socks and underwear.
So when I read this email about this 11 year old boy, only one year older than my son, I was so touched and thought, where were Jayden's parents when he needed them the most? Where are they now? And then I realized I am doing enough for my son, just by being here for him to answer the questions he may have, to support him in his journey, and just to love him, the most important gift we can give our children. And I was also reminded of how through Wear 'n Share we have helped so many kids like Jayden, and likely even Jayden himself, through our clothing donations. We may not be able to give him the love and support of parents, and thank God for Child & Family Services who are doing their best to give him that, but maybe even the littlest bit, we are helping him to feel that someone cares, many someones really, by giving him a soft sweater or a warm winter coat, or even a baseball cap.
So as tough as my day has started out, I've been sent a little reminder that it's going to be okay. I am grateful to be here for my son, and I am grateful to be able to do the work I do to be there for other sons and daughters, maybe on a smaller scale, but still making an impact on their lives. Thank you God, for reminding me.
Friday, October 21, 2011
The grass isn't always greener...
Today I'm using my blog to vent and maybe I will find some healing in the process. A few days ago I learned my dad and step mom will not be joining us for Thanksgiving. I haven't had the nerve yet, to tell my kids because as sad as I am, I know it will be more so for them. Holidays are always difficult for me because they remind me of all I don't have...family. Both my husband and I have small families who live in other states who seldom make the trek to Buffalo, even when it's not snowing. Yes, I have been blessed with two beautiful children and an amazingly supportive loving husband and I thank God for them everyday. This is where the guilt comes in. Shouldn't I be grateful for what I do have...a comfortable home, food on my plate, clothing on my back, good schools for my kids and and most of all my beautiful children and husband? Particularly with what I see everyday with my job and the people I help on a regular basis who have so little and are so grateful for what we provide for them through Wear 'n Share. But you know what so many of the families have that we help....family. They may not have as big of a Thanksgiving meal this year as we would have, but they have each other. I envy them for their large extended families who are there for them through thick and thin. I see so much love when I visit the homes I go to with clothing to share....grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, all living together providing support and love. These families stick together despite their differences and economic situations because they are family. Maybe that's partially why I do what I do. I have so much admiration for them. I always say the families I help give me back so much more than I give them. I guess I enjoy seeing the love they share and the determination they have to stay together and seek the best life they can have. They have many tragic stories, but they persevere together. It's amazing what strength a strong family can give you. So, I will do as I always do and put on my happy face and do my best to make Thanksgiving and Christmas the joyous occasions they should be for my children. They may not have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins for their holidays, but they will have two parents who love and adore them and some amazing friends who love them like family. And hopefully we can be the generation of change for them. Someday when they have kids of their own we will do our best to give them big crazy holidays with kids running around, squabbles between siblings and lots of noise of laughter, talking, dishes clanking, and love, the holidays that dreams are made of.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
How it all started...my personal story
It's been 2 years now since I started Wear 'n Share. I look back in amazement at all that has happened in the last 2 years and how much this charity has grown and how many lives have been touched through it. I never dreamed it would grow to be this big, but somehow I knew it was my calling. I'm often asked why I started Wear 'n Share. It's quite a personal story, and I usually only share part of the story which is the idea of it. I had been sitting in my children's pediatrician's office and I had read an article about a teacher who had kids who couldn't attend her school because their parents couldn't afford shoes. And I thought if these kids don't stay in school how will they ever have a chance of breaking the cycle of poverty they are living in? Then I thought about my own kids and all their outgrown shoes and clothing just sitting in boxes in our basement, but I didn't know how to get them directly into the hands of these families who need them. And surely their are other mothers like myself. I need to find a way to pool our resources and reach these families. Thus, the idea of Wear 'n Share was conceived. But I didn't actually start it until 2 years later. This is the more personal part of the story.
When I speak of "a calling", it's an innate feeling that we are meant to do something bigger than ourselves. I had always felt even since I was a young child that I was on a mission of some kind. I know it sounds kind of crazy. My dad used to call it "faith", but as a little girl who didn't go to church at the time, faith was a foreign language to me. Although I do remember sitting in front of the TV on Sundays every once in awhile watching local church broadcasts trying to figure out what faith was, longing for answers and maybe a closer relationship with God, but not understanding why or how.
Time passed, the little girl grew up and had children of her own, I found my faith and God, but still had this indescribable calling I couldn't understand. Until a monumental time in my life when my second and last child was going to be going to kindergarten. I had been a stay-at-home mom for 8 years and devoted this time to raising my children. Both my "babies" were going to be leaving the nest and suddenly I had to figure out who I was again. I had not worked in 8 years, was 40-something, still wanted to be home when my kids got home from school, and wanted my summers off. Who wouldn't want to hire me?! Not to mention, I had lost my identity. My children had been my whole world for the last 8 years and somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I didn't even know what I liked to do anymore or what I was good at besides being a mom. I became very depressed. It was the darkest period of my life.
We went to visit my Dad and step mom in Iowa. They live on a horse ranch. Going there is about as close to heaven on earth as I can get. Life just seems to slow down and you are one with the land, the animals, nature, and family. It seemed the perfect place for me to find my way out of the darkness. While there, I decided to go on a run/hike through the country. Midway through, I knelt to the ground and cried and prayed as if my life depended on it and begged God to show me the way, just to tell me how to find my way out of the darkness and back to the light again. I had not realized until that moment that I had been completely shutting God out of my life until then. I don't know if I blamed him for my sorrow, or if I was ashamed that I wasn't appreciating all the good in my life and taking it for granted. Either way, this was the first time in a long time I had reached out to Him for strength, guidance and direction. All I knew was that at that moment, I felt completely and utterly hopeless and I needed Him more than I ever had before.
When I returned and was taking my shoes off from my run my husband said, "Maybe you should think about giving this charity idea of yours a try". And there was my message from God. He didn't waste any time! Obviously He knew how impatient I could be. Almost instantly my mind started swimming with ideas, I met with my Pastor just as soon as we got back from our trip, who ironically is now a counselor in the same building Wear 'n Share is in, to determine if this idea was feasible and to bounce some ideas off of him. Then it all just started coming together, and as Wear 'n Share developed, the darkness subsided and there was light again, brighter than ever before. I knew that at last I had found my calling, that sometimes out of the darkest places the brightest lights can shine if you open your heart and let God show you the way.
I haven't shut Him out of my life since then and He continues to guide me on this journey to help families in need. I know that Wear 'n Share is a success through the grace of God. I am constantly amazed at how at every obstacle, with a little prayer, He guides me to find a solution and I know it's because my dreams are not just my own now, but for all the people who are touched by Wear 'n Share.
When I speak of "a calling", it's an innate feeling that we are meant to do something bigger than ourselves. I had always felt even since I was a young child that I was on a mission of some kind. I know it sounds kind of crazy. My dad used to call it "faith", but as a little girl who didn't go to church at the time, faith was a foreign language to me. Although I do remember sitting in front of the TV on Sundays every once in awhile watching local church broadcasts trying to figure out what faith was, longing for answers and maybe a closer relationship with God, but not understanding why or how.
Time passed, the little girl grew up and had children of her own, I found my faith and God, but still had this indescribable calling I couldn't understand. Until a monumental time in my life when my second and last child was going to be going to kindergarten. I had been a stay-at-home mom for 8 years and devoted this time to raising my children. Both my "babies" were going to be leaving the nest and suddenly I had to figure out who I was again. I had not worked in 8 years, was 40-something, still wanted to be home when my kids got home from school, and wanted my summers off. Who wouldn't want to hire me?! Not to mention, I had lost my identity. My children had been my whole world for the last 8 years and somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I didn't even know what I liked to do anymore or what I was good at besides being a mom. I became very depressed. It was the darkest period of my life.
We went to visit my Dad and step mom in Iowa. They live on a horse ranch. Going there is about as close to heaven on earth as I can get. Life just seems to slow down and you are one with the land, the animals, nature, and family. It seemed the perfect place for me to find my way out of the darkness. While there, I decided to go on a run/hike through the country. Midway through, I knelt to the ground and cried and prayed as if my life depended on it and begged God to show me the way, just to tell me how to find my way out of the darkness and back to the light again. I had not realized until that moment that I had been completely shutting God out of my life until then. I don't know if I blamed him for my sorrow, or if I was ashamed that I wasn't appreciating all the good in my life and taking it for granted. Either way, this was the first time in a long time I had reached out to Him for strength, guidance and direction. All I knew was that at that moment, I felt completely and utterly hopeless and I needed Him more than I ever had before.
When I returned and was taking my shoes off from my run my husband said, "Maybe you should think about giving this charity idea of yours a try". And there was my message from God. He didn't waste any time! Obviously He knew how impatient I could be. Almost instantly my mind started swimming with ideas, I met with my Pastor just as soon as we got back from our trip, who ironically is now a counselor in the same building Wear 'n Share is in, to determine if this idea was feasible and to bounce some ideas off of him. Then it all just started coming together, and as Wear 'n Share developed, the darkness subsided and there was light again, brighter than ever before. I knew that at last I had found my calling, that sometimes out of the darkest places the brightest lights can shine if you open your heart and let God show you the way.
I haven't shut Him out of my life since then and He continues to guide me on this journey to help families in need. I know that Wear 'n Share is a success through the grace of God. I am constantly amazed at how at every obstacle, with a little prayer, He guides me to find a solution and I know it's because my dreams are not just my own now, but for all the people who are touched by Wear 'n Share.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
I'm Back!!!!
Yes, I realize it's been awhile. You know how we let life get in the way of things we enjoy doing, well that's what has happened here, and quite frankly, I wasn't really sure if anyone was even reading my blog anyway so I let it go. But then, a dear friend of mine said she had quoted something I had written in my blog to a mother who was going through a difficult time and I thought, maybe this is worth doing. Because if something I said can make a difference in even one person's life and just one person reads this, then it was worth writing. And ironically, that same dear friend has agreed to partner with me to take on the responsibility of Wear 'n Share which now allows me to have the time to write in my blog again. Funny how life works, huh?
So a few things have happened since my last entry... Wear 'n Share is now located in the B.L.E.S.S. (Better Life Enrichment Support Services) Community Outreach Center Building located at 9365 Clarence Center Road. We are in a nice huge, dry space with tons of hanging room with a convenient drive up and drop off donation spot. We has our first fundraiser in collaboration with the BLESS Corp to earn funds to pay for our expenses to be housed in this great new space and made over $6000! Woo hoo! We also received our first grant which allowed us to purchase a washer and dryer and all our beautiful new fixturing for our clothing. A local boy scout troop is working on creating a beautiful wall of shelves for our men's and women's pants which will make our organizing so much more efficient! Our heater's broken, our ceiling is crumbling, our wiring is questionable, our paint is peeling, our landscaping is, to put it kindly- wildflowers- but our donations of clothing our plentiful, our space is cozy and dry, our volunteers are cheery and happy to work, and the requests for clothing are ample so we are truly blessed.
Now let me share with you an amazing story of a community coming together in a time of need and an amazing group of deserving kids. I received a submission from our website from a coach from the Crucial Center on Mossele who runs a basketball program he kindly calls J.U.M.P. (Jesus Understands My Prayers). One of the requirements of the program is that the kids need to wear shorts/sweats and sneakers. The director told him 90% of the kids don't have these items, which basically means these kids who would love to be able to play on his team won't be able to without our help. He sent us a very heartfelt message asking if there was anything we could do for these kids. Of course, I thought, Jesus isn't the only one who understands your prayers, or maybe he sent you our way. I sent out an email to our Wear 'n Share volunteers and within a day, we had our donations overflowing with sneakers, tshirts, and shorts and Kohl's gave us a nice discount to purchase a few extra to make sure we could cover the few extra sizes when they had new players sign up. Once again, as in many times in the past, our community gathered its resources and came together to make sure we were able to have something for every kid on the team!
We delivered the items last night as the kids were at practice. Everything stopped when we showed up with our bags of goodies. We met the coach and his wife who both teach all these 30+ kids ranging in ages from 6-18 years of age. You could have heard a pin drop when he told the story of how he contacted us for help when their parents said they couldn't play on the team because they didn't have the clothes or shoes they needed. But he knew he could find a way to make sure they could play and how Wear 'n Share and our community gathered together to make sure they could. He told them how important it was for them to thank us for what we did for them and how important it was. If I didn't have all those 30 beautiful children looking at me with their beautiful grateful faces I surely would have broken down in tears. I really wanted to hug every one of them and say. You guys stick with this program, stay in school, you have your whole lives ahead of you, you're going to be okay....something amazing or profound, but I just smiled and nodded and walked out into the pouring rain, got back into my car and felt humbled by the whole experience. I just don't think there are words for it. But I do know this, we were invited to attend one of their basketball games so they're going to send us the schedule, and I can guarantee I will be proudly going to cheer those boys on, not just for that night or the game, but for what it symbolizes, this J.U.M.P. program and the pride that it brings these kids. These coaches are doing some amazing work with these kids and I feel privileged to be part of it.
So a few things have happened since my last entry... Wear 'n Share is now located in the B.L.E.S.S. (Better Life Enrichment Support Services) Community Outreach Center Building located at 9365 Clarence Center Road. We are in a nice huge, dry space with tons of hanging room with a convenient drive up and drop off donation spot. We has our first fundraiser in collaboration with the BLESS Corp to earn funds to pay for our expenses to be housed in this great new space and made over $6000! Woo hoo! We also received our first grant which allowed us to purchase a washer and dryer and all our beautiful new fixturing for our clothing. A local boy scout troop is working on creating a beautiful wall of shelves for our men's and women's pants which will make our organizing so much more efficient! Our heater's broken, our ceiling is crumbling, our wiring is questionable, our paint is peeling, our landscaping is, to put it kindly- wildflowers- but our donations of clothing our plentiful, our space is cozy and dry, our volunteers are cheery and happy to work, and the requests for clothing are ample so we are truly blessed.
Now let me share with you an amazing story of a community coming together in a time of need and an amazing group of deserving kids. I received a submission from our website from a coach from the Crucial Center on Mossele who runs a basketball program he kindly calls J.U.M.P. (Jesus Understands My Prayers). One of the requirements of the program is that the kids need to wear shorts/sweats and sneakers. The director told him 90% of the kids don't have these items, which basically means these kids who would love to be able to play on his team won't be able to without our help. He sent us a very heartfelt message asking if there was anything we could do for these kids. Of course, I thought, Jesus isn't the only one who understands your prayers, or maybe he sent you our way. I sent out an email to our Wear 'n Share volunteers and within a day, we had our donations overflowing with sneakers, tshirts, and shorts and Kohl's gave us a nice discount to purchase a few extra to make sure we could cover the few extra sizes when they had new players sign up. Once again, as in many times in the past, our community gathered its resources and came together to make sure we were able to have something for every kid on the team!
We delivered the items last night as the kids were at practice. Everything stopped when we showed up with our bags of goodies. We met the coach and his wife who both teach all these 30+ kids ranging in ages from 6-18 years of age. You could have heard a pin drop when he told the story of how he contacted us for help when their parents said they couldn't play on the team because they didn't have the clothes or shoes they needed. But he knew he could find a way to make sure they could play and how Wear 'n Share and our community gathered together to make sure they could. He told them how important it was for them to thank us for what we did for them and how important it was. If I didn't have all those 30 beautiful children looking at me with their beautiful grateful faces I surely would have broken down in tears. I really wanted to hug every one of them and say. You guys stick with this program, stay in school, you have your whole lives ahead of you, you're going to be okay....something amazing or profound, but I just smiled and nodded and walked out into the pouring rain, got back into my car and felt humbled by the whole experience. I just don't think there are words for it. But I do know this, we were invited to attend one of their basketball games so they're going to send us the schedule, and I can guarantee I will be proudly going to cheer those boys on, not just for that night or the game, but for what it symbolizes, this J.U.M.P. program and the pride that it brings these kids. These coaches are doing some amazing work with these kids and I feel privileged to be part of it.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Even someone with a little faith has the ability to do great things
This morning I was honored to attend Eastern Hills Wesleyan Church's MOPS meeting. First of all, let me tell you what an amazing group of women these ladies are! There was a lot of love and support in that little room. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to share my story with them and for all their support of Wear 'n Share and the families they're helping.
Secondly, in preparation for this meeting I did a lot of soul searching and once I did, I was amazed that there is so much m0re to the Wear 'n Share story and what brought me to start this ministry. When I look back on some of the crisis in my life, I now realize these experiences, as awful as they were at the time, created the person I am today. Had I not suffered some of the "life lessons" I had, I would not be going on to use my God-given talents to help others. It's a testament to me that even someone with a little faith can go on to do great things if they dig deep enough and BELIEVE. So take some time today for yourself. Reflect on your life, not just the good, in fact, we can learn more from the bad. All those situations were turning points in your life creating the "you today." How can you use your life experiences to help others around you? I can guarantee you that right now someone is facing the worst thing you've ever faced in your life and would love to know how to get through it. Can you help them? Can you find a way to turn those negative experiences that occurred in your life into lessons for others? Can you find a way to support them and show them how to not only get through it, but prosper? It may sound like a monumental task, but do some brainstorming. You have so much to give and you may not even realize it.
I have so many people ask me, "How do you find the time to do all you do with Wear 'n Share and take care of your family?" And I say, "Through God's grace." When you stop focusing so much time and energy on yourself and your own happiness and start to focus it on helping those that can't help themselves, great things will happen to you. Really! I won't say it's always easy and God didn't give me an extra hour everyday just because I'm using the talents He gave me for others. But He does provide. When life gets crazy at home, Wear 'n Share slows down a little and when Wear 'n Share gets hectic, life at home becomes more manageable. Since I have committed my life to helping others, it just all seems to work out easier and I'm happier than I've ever been. Try it yourself! Pull out the worst experience you've dealt with in your past (drugs, alcohol, bullying, sexual abuse, violence, poverty, divorce, death of a loved one, depression, diseases or illnesses, etc. )and find an organization or church that helps others deal with experiences such as yours and volunteer to help. You will be amazed at the people you can heal by sharing your experiences as painful as they can be, and you will find it will heal you as well. The experiences you lived through happened to you for a reason. Figure out why and you will find acceptance, peace, and true happiness and you may affect many lives in a positive way because of it. Remember, even someone with a little faith has the ability to do great things...just believe enough, and put yourself out there a little, and God will help you the rest of the way.
Secondly, in preparation for this meeting I did a lot of soul searching and once I did, I was amazed that there is so much m0re to the Wear 'n Share story and what brought me to start this ministry. When I look back on some of the crisis in my life, I now realize these experiences, as awful as they were at the time, created the person I am today. Had I not suffered some of the "life lessons" I had, I would not be going on to use my God-given talents to help others. It's a testament to me that even someone with a little faith can go on to do great things if they dig deep enough and BELIEVE. So take some time today for yourself. Reflect on your life, not just the good, in fact, we can learn more from the bad. All those situations were turning points in your life creating the "you today." How can you use your life experiences to help others around you? I can guarantee you that right now someone is facing the worst thing you've ever faced in your life and would love to know how to get through it. Can you help them? Can you find a way to turn those negative experiences that occurred in your life into lessons for others? Can you find a way to support them and show them how to not only get through it, but prosper? It may sound like a monumental task, but do some brainstorming. You have so much to give and you may not even realize it.
I have so many people ask me, "How do you find the time to do all you do with Wear 'n Share and take care of your family?" And I say, "Through God's grace." When you stop focusing so much time and energy on yourself and your own happiness and start to focus it on helping those that can't help themselves, great things will happen to you. Really! I won't say it's always easy and God didn't give me an extra hour everyday just because I'm using the talents He gave me for others. But He does provide. When life gets crazy at home, Wear 'n Share slows down a little and when Wear 'n Share gets hectic, life at home becomes more manageable. Since I have committed my life to helping others, it just all seems to work out easier and I'm happier than I've ever been. Try it yourself! Pull out the worst experience you've dealt with in your past (drugs, alcohol, bullying, sexual abuse, violence, poverty, divorce, death of a loved one, depression, diseases or illnesses, etc. )and find an organization or church that helps others deal with experiences such as yours and volunteer to help. You will be amazed at the people you can heal by sharing your experiences as painful as they can be, and you will find it will heal you as well. The experiences you lived through happened to you for a reason. Figure out why and you will find acceptance, peace, and true happiness and you may affect many lives in a positive way because of it. Remember, even someone with a little faith has the ability to do great things...just believe enough, and put yourself out there a little, and God will help you the rest of the way.
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