Wear 'n Share...sharing the joy of giving

What I learned from Bernie

2011-12-04T13:22:00.000-08:00

Last week I was contacted by one of our own who suffered a house fire. She is a part time social worker, in addition to 2 other jobs she holds to keep her family in a comfortable "safe" home. She is married with 2 boys and she lost all her belongings including their family pets in this fire that started at 4:00AM while they were all sleeping. As a social worker she deals with loss on a daily basis with her clients, so she told me, "I should know how to handle this better", but as we all know when faced with a tragedy yourself, no words can describe the grief or our process for dealing with it.

Bernie showed up at Wear 'n Share in her mother's SUV expecting a few bags of clothing to begin to rebuild her life. From the moment I met her, I wished I could do more as she fell apart crying with our first hug. You could just see the weight of the world on her face, but all she kept saying was “I can’t believe all this!” While we normally just provide clothing for our clients, I spent the next few days after our conversation reaching out to our Clarence community to pull together some household items, cleaning supplies, bedding, etc. As always, I too was overwhelmed, but not surprised at how our friends and neighbors can come together to help a family in need. We are truly blessed by the people we know and who come through for us time and again.

I learned a lot about Bernie as we searched through bras and underwear for her and picked out hats and gloves for the family. Her home had been her husband’s parents who were missionaries. They took over the mortgage and just never bothered to purchase homeowners insurance, something she feels so guilty about. As I mentioned, she works 3 jobs, but admittedly didn’t save a dime. She said how ridiculous it seems now that they had to have a 60 inch T.V. instead of purchasing insurance. The guilt hits her again while she says this and she has to have a moment to gather herself. I shared my speech with her about how I know it’s hard to see right now, but there is a reason for this and she will understand in time. The words felt hollow, as I felt there was nothing I could really say to ease her grief. And then I told her about when my step-sister who is a Doctor was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully she is now a “survivor”, but as horrible as it all was, she can now look back on her experience and say it has changed her in so many positive ways. One being, that she is so much more empathetic with her patients who she used to be so clinical with when going through such life-threatening tragedies. So I said maybe this will help you to have a new understanding and compassion for your clients and be able to help them in ways you were never able to before. And then I thought in my head, maybe it’s a reminder to us all about what’s really important, the latest iphone or in her words, “60 inch T.V.”, or is it more about ensuring our family is taken care of and our kids are safe. We as a society have become overwhelmed with “keeping up with the Jones’” so to speak, and making sure we have everything and more for our families. What can we all lose by putting greed before need? Thank you Bernie, for reminding me.

I’m sharing Bernie’s story with all of you, first of all, to thank those of you who dropped things off with me throughout the night and this morning and those of you who keep Bernie and her family in your prayers. It truly means more than I can say. But also, to remind us all about what’s really important, so that maybe Bernie’s story can touch us a little the way you have all touched her.

When she left today we hugged and we both cried of course. I told her “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you’re going to be okay”, and for the first time since I had spent with her, she smiled a small but beautiful smile and said, “You know, for the first time since this happened I actually feel like that’s true, for what you did for me today.” And I walked away thinking, we gave her so much more than clothing, shoes, towels, and “things”, we gave her hope.

A reminder...

2011-11-10T06:23:00.000-08:00

Today was a rough morning for me, forced to face an inevitable outcome with one of my children. As a parent, we want to protect our children and give them the best possible "normal" life we can, and then you start to realize that life doesn't always give your children all you could hope for them. So we do our best to guide them with a lot of love and give them the help and support they need to live as "normal" a life as they possibly can, right? Isn't that all we can do and should do? Meanwhile we try to keep ourselves from crumbling into pieces because we need to be strong, and our crumbling will only scare them and make them fear what you are trying so hard to help them deal with positively. And just as I have some time alone to let the avalanche fall while no one else is around to see, I stop for a moment to read my emails and come across one from Child & Family Services, an organization Wear 'n Share works with regularly. I want to share it with you below:

Friends at Wear 'N Share,

You are important to us because you believe in our work, and appreciate and understand the need for our services. For this reason, I am sharing the email, below, that was sent from one of our employees to another. It tells a very powerful story and will confirm why you support our mission.

Hi Mark,

We don’t know each other but I had to write to you. This morning, outside my office, I heard screams. When I looked out the window to see what was going on, I saw you standing near a boy. He was lying on the ground, near a stone wall. He grabbed a very large rock and a handful of dirt, and threw them at your face. I held my breath. I was appalled by his behavior and fearful about how you would respond.

Things then moved quickly – you stepped closer; he threw more dirt in your face; you tossed your keys and cell phone out of your pocket; he kicked you and threw rocks at you; he tried to take off his shirt and you did all you could to keep it on him. He wasn't a small boy – he was strong and angry and fighting with everything he had. You were both on the ground, dirty and bleeding. Suddenly it occurred to me that one of the things you were doing was keeping him safe – from himself. You were protecting him from hitting his head on the stone wall.

Within a few minutes a woman approached, with a cup in her hand. When he saw her, things began to slow down. He accepted the cup and ate what was in it. It looked like ice.

As he ate, you didn't express concern for your dirty clothes, the bruises I am certain he gave you, or the craziness of what just happened. You knelt next to the boy, rubbed his back, wiped the dirt and leaves off his clothes, and talked to him. And while you did all that, I was wiping the tears from my face. I was moved by your compassion, and embarrassed that I thought the worst of him, and you.

Once he was calm, you walked away, together. You had your hand placed on his shoulder, not to control him but to let him know you were there for him.

As I watched the entire scene unfold, my emotions ran the gamut - I feared for you; I was angry at him; I questioned what he’d been through to make him behave that way; and I felt so sad that the entire thing had happened. However in the end, I was completely overwhelmed by your presence of mind and capabilities. I wish everyone associated with our agency – donors, board, leadership, volunteers – saw what I saw today. They’d feel the same.

I think what you did was incredible on a professional level, but also on a human level. I am so grateful he has you and everyone else at Child & family Services to understand him, respond to his behaviors appropriately and then – above all else – accept and respect him. You, and the entire front line staff at this agency, have my complete admiration and appreciation for your patience, dedication and kindness.

And, I’m crying again.

Here's some background information on the boy in this email... eleven year old Jayden is cared for at our Conners Children’s Center. Like most children at Conners, he was neglected and/or abused by adults meant to care for him. His parents' rights were terminated in 2008 and they have not been involved in his life since. As a result, he feels unwanted. He's understandably very angry and lives with shame, hurt and guilt.

This very heavy burden has made Jayden extremely anxious and agitated, and he is in a constant state of turmoil. When he feels he has been pushed to the brink, he has outbursts and sometimes becomes violent toward himself or others. He is simply unable to calm himself or control his actions. He has been diagnosed as being severely emotionally disturbed.

Fortunately, because of you, Conners Children’s Center is here for Jayden. Conners provides structured, 24 hour treatment to help children experience success and happiness. Children are treated with respect and dignity, and made to feel special, often for the first time in their lives. They are involved in healthy relationships and have positive role models, like Mark, in their lives.

Through counseling and other activities the children learn appropriate behaviors and self-control. They establish calming choices - courses of action that soothe them - such as listening to music, coloring, taking a walk or playing a sport. One of Jayden’s calming choices is ice. When he is upset, he becomes uncomfortably warm, which is why he was trying to remove his shirt. A cup of ice helps him to re-focus, cool himself and regain his self-control.

You’ve made things better for Jayden. While he still has a long road ahead of him, he is now in a safe and supportive place, learning important life skills and experiencing success.

Wear 'n Share has spent many days bringing clothing to the children at Conners. In addition to our regular role to provide clothing for individuals who need help, we also have helped them by contributing over 80 white t-shirts for their kids to paint on during the summer, and we've brought bags of baseball caps to keep the sun off their faces while they played outside- doesn't seem like much for an average person, but this can be a luxury item for some, just like socks and underwear.

So when I read this email about this 11 year old boy, only one year older than my son, I was so touched and thought, where were Jayden's parents when he needed them the most? Where are they now? And then I realized I am doing enough for my son, just by being here for him to answer the questions he may have, to support him in his journey, and just to love him, the most important gift we can give our children. And I was also reminded of how through Wear 'n Share we have helped so many kids like Jayden, and likely even Jayden himself, through our clothing donations. We may not be able to give him the love and support of parents, and thank God for Child & Family Services who are doing their best to give him that, but maybe even the littlest bit, we are helping him to feel that someone cares, many someones really, by giving him a soft sweater or a warm winter coat, or even a baseball cap.

So as tough as my day has started out, I've been sent a little reminder that it's going to be okay. I am grateful to be here for my son, and I am grateful to be able to do the work I do to be there for other sons and daughters, maybe on a smaller scale, but still making an impact on their lives. Thank you God, for reminding me.

The grass isn't always greener...

2011-10-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Today I'm using my blog to vent and maybe I will find some healing in the process. A few days ago I learned my dad and step mom will not be joining us for Thanksgiving. I haven't had the nerve yet, to tell my kids because as sad as I am, I know it will be more so for them. Holidays are always difficult for me because they remind me of all I don't have...family. Both my husband and I have small families who live in other states who seldom make the trek to Buffalo, even when it's not snowing. Yes, I have been blessed with two beautiful children and an amazingly supportive loving husband and I thank God for them everyday. This is where the guilt comes in. Shouldn't I be grateful for what I do have...a comfortable home, food on my plate, clothing on my back, good schools for my kids and and most of all my beautiful children and husband? Particularly with what I see everyday with my job and the people I help on a regular basis who have so little and are so grateful for what we provide for them through Wear 'n Share. But you know what so many of the families have that we help....family. They may not have as big of a Thanksgiving meal this year as we would have, but they have each other. I envy them for their large extended families who are there for them through thick and thin. I see so much love when I visit the homes I go to with clothing to share....grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, all living together providing support and love. These families stick together despite their differences and economic situations because they are family. Maybe that's partially why I do what I do. I have so much admiration for them. I always say the families I help give me back so much more than I give them. I guess I enjoy seeing the love they share and the determination they have to stay together and seek the best life they can have. They have many tragic stories, but they persevere together. It's amazing what strength a strong family can give you. So, I will do as I always do and put on my happy face and do my best to make Thanksgiving and Christmas the joyous occasions they should be for my children. They may not have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins for their holidays, but they will have two parents who love and adore them and some amazing friends who love them like family. And hopefully we can be the generation of change for them. Someday when they have kids of their own we will do our best to give them big crazy holidays with kids running around, squabbles between siblings and lots of noise of laughter, talking, dishes clanking, and love, the holidays that dreams are made of.

How it all started...my personal story

2011-06-11T04:16:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 years now since I started Wear 'n Share. I look back in amazement at all that has happened in the last 2 years and how much this charity has grown and how many lives have been touched through it. I never dreamed it would grow to be this big, but somehow I knew it was my calling. I'm often asked why I started Wear 'n Share. It's quite a personal story, and I usually only share part of the story which is the idea of it. I had been sitting in my children's pediatrician's office and I had read an article about a teacher who had kids who couldn't attend her school because their parents couldn't afford shoes. And I thought if these kids don't stay in school how will they ever have a chance of breaking the cycle of poverty they are living in? Then I thought about my own kids and all their outgrown shoes and clothing just sitting in boxes in our basement, but I didn't know how to get them directly into the hands of these families who need them. And surely their are other mothers like myself. I need to find a way to pool our resources and reach these families. Thus, the idea of Wear 'n Share was conceived. But I didn't actually start it until 2 years later. This is the more personal part of the story.

When I speak of "a calling", it's an innate feeling that we are meant to do something bigger than ourselves. I had always felt even since I was a young child that I was on a mission of some kind. I know it sounds kind of crazy. My dad used to call it "faith", but as a little girl who didn't go to church at the time, faith was a foreign language to me. Although I do remember sitting in front of the TV on Sundays every once in awhile watching local church broadcasts trying to figure out what faith was, longing for answers and maybe a closer relationship with God, but not understanding why or how.

Time passed, the little girl grew up and had children of her own, I found my faith and God, but still had this indescribable calling I couldn't understand. Until a monumental time in my life when my second and last child was going to be going to kindergarten. I had been a stay-at-home mom for 8 years and devoted this time to raising my children. Both my "babies" were going to be leaving the nest and suddenly I had to figure out who I was again. I had not worked in 8 years, was 40-something, still wanted to be home when my kids got home from school, and wanted my summers off. Who wouldn't want to hire me?! Not to mention, I had lost my identity. My children had been my whole world for the last 8 years and somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I didn't even know what I liked to do anymore or what I was good at besides being a mom. I became very depressed. It was the darkest period of my life.

We went to visit my Dad and step mom in Iowa. They live on a horse ranch. Going there is about as close to heaven on earth as I can get. Life just seems to slow down and you are one with the land, the animals, nature, and family. It seemed the perfect place for me to find my way out of the darkness. While there, I decided to go on a run/hike through the country. Midway through, I knelt to the ground and cried and prayed as if my life depended on it and begged God to show me the way, just to tell me how to find my way out of the darkness and back to the light again. I had not realized until that moment that I had been completely shutting God out of my life until then. I don't know if I blamed him for my sorrow, or if I was ashamed that I wasn't appreciating all the good in my life and taking it for granted. Either way, this was the first time in a long time I had reached out to Him for strength, guidance and direction. All I knew was that at that moment, I felt completely and utterly hopeless and I needed Him more than I ever had before.

When I returned and was taking my shoes off from my run my husband said, "Maybe you should think about giving this charity idea of yours a try". And there was my message from God. He didn't waste any time! Obviously He knew how impatient I could be. Almost instantly my mind started swimming with ideas, I met with my Pastor just as soon as we got back from our trip, who ironically is now a counselor in the same building Wear 'n Share is in, to determine if this idea was feasible and to bounce some ideas off of him. Then it all just started coming together, and as Wear 'n Share developed, the darkness subsided and there was light again, brighter than ever before. I knew that at last I had found my calling, that sometimes out of the darkest places the brightest lights can shine if you open your heart and let God show you the way.

I haven't shut Him out of my life since then and He continues to guide me on this journey to help families in need. I know that Wear 'n Share is a success through the grace of God. I am constantly amazed at how at every obstacle, with a little prayer, He guides me to find a solution and I know it's because my dreams are not just my own now, but for all the people who are touched by Wear 'n Share.

I'm Back!!!!

2011-05-28T04:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, I realize it's been awhile. You know how we let life get in the way of things we enjoy doing, well that's what has happened here, and quite frankly, I wasn't really sure if anyone was even reading my blog anyway so I let it go. But then, a dear friend of mine said she had quoted something I had written in my blog to a mother who was going through a difficult time and I thought, maybe this is worth doing. Because if something I said can make a difference in even one person's life and just one person reads this, then it was worth writing. And ironically, that same dear friend has agreed to partner with me to take on the responsibility of Wear 'n Share which now allows me to have the time to write in my blog again. Funny how life works, huh?

So a few things have happened since my last entry... Wear 'n Share is now located in the B.L.E.S.S. (Better Life Enrichment Support Services) Community Outreach Center Building located at 9365 Clarence Center Road. We are in a nice huge, dry space with tons of hanging room with a convenient drive up and drop off donation spot. We has our first fundraiser in collaboration with the BLESS Corp to earn funds to pay for our expenses to be housed in this great new space and made over $6000! Woo hoo! We also received our first grant which allowed us to purchase a washer and dryer and all our beautiful new fixturing for our clothing. A local boy scout troop is working on creating a beautiful wall of shelves for our men's and women's pants which will make our organizing so much more efficient! Our heater's broken, our ceiling is crumbling, our wiring is questionable, our paint is peeling, our landscaping is, to put it kindly- wildflowers- but our donations of clothing our plentiful, our space is cozy and dry, our volunteers are cheery and happy to work, and the requests for clothing are ample so we are truly blessed.

Now let me share with you an amazing story of a community coming together in a time of need and an amazing group of deserving kids. I received a submission from our website from a coach from the Crucial Center on Mossele who runs a basketball program he kindly calls J.U.M.P. (Jesus Understands My Prayers). One of the requirements of the program is that the kids need to wear shorts/sweats and sneakers. The director told him 90% of the kids don't have these items, which basically means these kids who would love to be able to play on his team won't be able to without our help. He sent us a very heartfelt message asking if there was anything we could do for these kids. Of course, I thought, Jesus isn't the only one who understands your prayers, or maybe he sent you our way. I sent out an email to our Wear 'n Share volunteers and within a day, we had our donations overflowing with sneakers, tshirts, and shorts and Kohl's gave us a nice discount to purchase a few extra to make sure we could cover the few extra sizes when they had new players sign up. Once again, as in many times in the past, our community gathered its resources and came together to make sure we were able to have something for every kid on the team!

We delivered the items last night as the kids were at practice. Everything stopped when we showed up with our bags of goodies. We met the coach and his wife who both teach all these 30+ kids ranging in ages from 6-18 years of age. You could have heard a pin drop when he told the story of how he contacted us for help when their parents said they couldn't play on the team because they didn't have the clothes or shoes they needed. But he knew he could find a way to make sure they could play and how Wear 'n Share and our community gathered together to make sure they could. He told them how important it was for them to thank us for what we did for them and how important it was. If I didn't have all those 30 beautiful children looking at me with their beautiful grateful faces I surely would have broken down in tears. I really wanted to hug every one of them and say. You guys stick with this program, stay in school, you have your whole lives ahead of you, you're going to be okay....something amazing or profound, but I just smiled and nodded and walked out into the pouring rain, got back into my car and felt humbled by the whole experience. I just don't think there are words for it. But I do know this, we were invited to attend one of their basketball games so they're going to send us the schedule, and I can guarantee I will be proudly going to cheer those boys on, not just for that night or the game, but for what it symbolizes, this J.U.M.P. program and the pride that it brings these kids. These coaches are doing some amazing work with these kids and I feel privileged to be part of it.

Even someone with a little faith has the ability to do great things

2010-10-05T09:55:00.000-07:00

This morning I was honored to attend Eastern Hills Wesleyan Church's MOPS meeting. First of all, let me tell you what an amazing group of women these ladies are! There was a lot of love and support in that little room. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to share my story with them and for all their support of Wear 'n Share and the families they're helping.

Secondly, in preparation for this meeting I did a lot of soul searching and once I did, I was amazed that there is so much m0re to the Wear 'n Share story and what brought me to start this ministry. When I look back on some of the crisis in my life, I now realize these experiences, as awful as they were at the time, created the person I am today. Had I not suffered some of the "life lessons" I had, I would not be going on to use my God-given talents to help others. It's a testament to me that even someone with a little faith can go on to do great things if they dig deep enough and BELIEVE. So take some time today for yourself. Reflect on your life, not just the good, in fact, we can learn more from the bad. All those situations were turning points in your life creating the "you today." How can you use your life experiences to help others around you? I can guarantee you that right now someone is facing the worst thing you've ever faced in your life and would love to know how to get through it. Can you help them? Can you find a way to turn those negative experiences that occurred in your life into lessons for others? Can you find a way to support them and show them how to not only get through it, but prosper? It may sound like a monumental task, but do some brainstorming. You have so much to give and you may not even realize it.

I have so many people ask me, "How do you find the time to do all you do with Wear 'n Share and take care of your family?" And I say, "Through God's grace." When you stop focusing so much time and energy on yourself and your own happiness and start to focus it on helping those that can't help themselves, great things will happen to you. Really! I won't say it's always easy and God didn't give me an extra hour everyday just because I'm using the talents He gave me for others. But He does provide. When life gets crazy at home, Wear 'n Share slows down a little and when Wear 'n Share gets hectic, life at home becomes more manageable. Since I have committed my life to helping others, it just all seems to work out easier and I'm happier than I've ever been. Try it yourself! Pull out the worst experience you've dealt with in your past (drugs, alcohol, bullying, sexual abuse, violence, poverty, divorce, death of a loved one, depression, diseases or illnesses, etc. )and find an organization or church that helps others deal with experiences such as yours and volunteer to help. You will be amazed at the people you can heal by sharing your experiences as painful as they can be, and you will find it will heal you as well. The experiences you lived through happened to you for a reason. Figure out why and you will find acceptance, peace, and true happiness and you may affect many lives in a positive way because of it. Remember, even someone with a little faith has the ability to do great things...just believe enough, and put yourself out there a little, and God will help you the rest of the way.

Wear 'n Share is here for as long as families need us

2010-06-02T14:05:00.001-07:00

Today I delivered to two "repeat customers". I had delivered clothing to these families in September and they contacted me again for summer clothing. It feels good to have families calling back, knowing we're here for them to relieve some of the financial pressure and that we will continue to be here as long as they need us. And oh how I love my uniform deliveries to the schools! I'm so grateful to the many generous donations of uniform clothing that continue to come my way. When I did a drop off at a school last week the counselor said, "I wish you could see the children's faces when they see these donations. It means so much to them." Just by her saying that, it was enough for me. I left teary-eyed, thinking, this is what it's all about....just knowing little lives are being positively affected and maybe changed because of what I'm doing here. My hope is that some of the lives we are impacting will go on to impact others in the same way.... to continue the circle of giving.

We're back in business!

2010-05-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, my last blog was a little depressing, I apologize. But just when you think there's no hope, alas, along come the requests. I decided to spend last Friday digging my heels in and contacting some organizations that have been on my radar for awhile in addition to refreshing the memories of those I'm already working with to let them know we're still here. And it worked! Just one day of effort will reach so many! Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to continue this journey and have faith that I can do it, even when I lose faith in myself. I've added 2 organizations who are already keeping me very busy and refreshed some contacts I've been working with to get help to some new families in need. There is so much good work to do!

And I have such wonderful news! A church from the city is moving into Clarence Center and they are looking to do a community outreach building! We've had conversations and all seems to be moving in the right direction that Wear 'n Share will soon have a new bigger home. Yeah!!!!

So let me share one more story to continue on this happy blog. This week I was so proud to be able to help a family who devotes their life to helping others. This family spends 3 years at a time in Tanzania helping with the relief/development initiative going on there to help families build their lives. Clothing is hard to come by there and very expensive so I was so happy to help clothe their children for their journey knowing that when they outgrow their clothing they will "pay it forward" by passing along their clothes to Tanzania children in need. It's what Wear 'n Share's "circle of giving" is all about!

The Good News and The Bad News

2010-04-06T08:02:00.000-07:00

I always like to start with the bad news because then I can end on a happy note. So here it is.... Wear 'n Share has to temporarily stop taking donations. I never imagined in only 10 short months I would already be outgrowing a space I thougth I would be using for years to come. We're buried in boxes of clothing with nowhere to go. It really saddens me that we're sitting on all these beautiful clothing and we're not getting them to the families in need. This is my greatest distress. I have created this wonderful ministry, we have an amazing outpouring from of donations from a community so willing to help, and yet I'm having difficulty reaching the families who need it. So it's time to hit the groung running again and try to reach more churches and organizations to find them. I'm so perplexed when I do contact an organization who I know has families who need Wear 'n Share's help and they don't follow up. I try to think of the obvious reasons... lack of time and resources, not sure it they can trust me, etc., but aren't our children worth the time, sacrifice, and risk? God, please show me the way to cut through the red tape to help those in need. This ministry can only be successful if I'm reaching those that truly need the help. But I can't do it alone. I need the people who know the people and work with the people and live with the people who need the help to contact me so I can help them. I don't have my hand on the pulse of those in need. I'm counting on those that do to help me reach out to them. My hope is that no child in Buffalo and surrounding areas should be without clothing. I may not be able to break the cycle of poverty, but at least I can keep these children clothed. Or can I? Is this task too great? I once thought I could, but today I'm filled with doubt.

Okay, now the good news.... Wear 'n Share may soon be moving to a new space! Bigger and better with hanging bars and shelves! Our fate isn't yet certain, but it's looking promising. I'm hopeful that once in this new space, all the time I've been devoting to trying to relocate can be used to try to reach out to more organizations, churches and schools who help families in need. So I'm hopeful that soon my doubt will be replaced with joy at the new prospect of helping more children and expanding this ministry further. So I'll try to focus on the good news, which should bring good news to more families in need. Wear 'n Share is here people! Let us help!

Inspiration! Make 2010 the year to pay it forward....

2010-01-21T06:07:00.000-08:00

It's finally here! The Extreme Makeover Home Addition Buffalo is airing this Sunday night at 8:00PM. Apparently we had the highest volunteer turnout in Makeover history! Although I'm not surprised. This city really steps up to the plate for people in need. This show was such an amazing experience to be part of and let me tell you why besides the obvious of getting to work side by side with Ty Pennington. Yes, ladies he is just as amazing in person! What was really cool about this show was its ability to inspire. I believe there were over 6000 volunteers working on this project, but not just the Powell home. Thanks to David Homes, the builder, and PUSH Buffalo, an organization which Delores Powell helped start, they decided just helping one family wasn't enough. They wanted to transform an entire neighborhood! I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with the Executive Producer of the show, who, by the way is so passionate about what they're doing and the people they're helping. He really wants to save the world one house at a time. Anyway, I was complimenting him on how great it was that he was transforming not just the Powell house, but the entire neighborhood and he said he couldn't take the credit, that it was David Homes who said they wouldn't take on this project unless the show would agree to let them do more than this one home- cool, huh?! So they started going door to door and asking their neighbors what they needed done on their homes and they did it. They gave someone who had no indoor plumbing for 2 years and had been using a hose for water an entire indoor plumbing system. They replaced roofs, siding, sidewalks, painted beautiful murals over buildings that had been tagged, added parks, rebuilt condemned houses and so much more. And it's still going on! PUSH Buffalo made it their personal mission to keep this going and bring pride back to the westside neighborhoods. Have you been to the Westside lately? There are some pretty amazing transformations going on there.
It's all about finding your gifts and talents and using them to help others which is what I've done with Wear 'n Share. Here's another example, a gentleman by the name of Dorian Gaskin who lives here in Buffalo teaches his trade to others and brought together other people like him with plumbing experience, carpentry, etc., anyone who had a talent they were willing to donate time to teach others and started an organization to get people who are unemployed the skills to find jobs and get back into the workforce and earning a living for their family. These people take their God-given talents and share them with others to help families in need. What are your talents? How can you use them to help others? Think about it. You can make a difference just by choosing to do so. So figure out what you're going to do this year to make 2010 your year of giving back.
I'll leave you with one more story about a woman who contacted me to volunteer for Wear 'n Share. She said her husband had been without a job for a year and she was working 3 jobs, one her own delivery business, trying to keep the family afloat. She knew things were tough for them, but she told me there are families out there that have it so much worse than they do, so she wanted to help me make deliveries. This is a family Wear 'n Share should be helping, but instead she took her talents (a delivery service) and decided to help families who are worse off than they are.
People like her and Dorian Gaskin, and David Homes and PUSH Buffalo. These are some of the heroes that inspire me to be a better person, to want to use my talents to help families in need. I'm hoping hearing about their good work will inspire you too. We all have the ability to make an impact on this world. What will yours be?

A "feel good day".

2010-01-15T15:33:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day! Periodically I make deliveries to organizations that can utilize items I receive that don't fit my specific request needs. Today was the day to make those deliveries. I started with Everywoman Opportunity Center. They help women who have suffered hardships and are trying to start their lives over. They work on their interviewing skills, provide counselling, and also have a clothing closet which provides interviewing attire. Career clothing isn't necessarily what I'm in need of for the families Wear 'n Share helps so when I get these items in I pull them aside for this organization. My second stop was to the Boys & Girls Club of Buffalo. They were happy to find homes for our dance apparel and baseball pants and equipment we've received over the past few months. While there I was pleased to learn they were affiliated with CASA, a social service agency which has been on my radar, but I had not contacted yet. I passed along some marketing information to let them know about Wear 'n Share and what we do and they were very excited about using our services. Yeah! So a great connection was made to reach more children in need!
Last, but certainly not least, I stopped by St. Luke's Mission of Mercy. They are an amazing group who take in anyone, and I mean anyone, in need of help. They've helped so many people who would have nowhere else to turn and they take ANYTHING you are willing to donate as long as you can get it to them, which can sometimes be tricky, but once you've done it a few times you get the system down and get to know the right people. So, when I get items that don't actually fit the needs of the families I work with or I don't have the room to store, St. Luke's can benefit from these donations. I always leave there feeling enlightened somehow. I truly admire the work they're doing.
So today will definitely go down as a "feel good day". Delivery days always are, but there's something special about connecting with others who see the necessity for helping those who need help. There are some pretty amazing people out there and it restores your faith in humanity. Thank you for giving me the gift of this day.

Wear 'n Share made the news!

2010-01-13T13:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a really cool day! Erica Brason, Channel 2 News Anchor, interviewed me for their Good Neighbor Segment on Saturday Daybreak. It will be airing on January 23rd, sometime between 9-10:30AM. It was a great opportunity for me to talk about Wear 'n Share and hopefully reach more families in need and bring in more donations to help them. Yeah!!!! And of course I put in a plug for a larger space. Please, please let me reach someone who has an empty building they'd like to donate for this worthy cause.
On task for tomorrow....marketing. This week was a slow week for requests and no donations are coming in with our site closed until the 15th. A week like this causes me to panic a little. Am I not reaching enough people? Do I need more contacts? How do I find the families in need? I know I need a slow week every once in awhile to motivate me to contact more organizations and referrals. I think it's God's way of ensuring I keep my head in the game. There are so many worthy organizations out there who could use Wear 'n Share's services, so find them, share your vision with them, and reach the people who need our help. And so I will.

By providing for one, we can bring joy to many.

2010-01-09T17:51:00.000-08:00

In my last excerpt I talked about the girl who needed a coat, so I put my plans aside for a day to put her needs first. And as always, by putting someone else first I was pleasantly taken care of in return.
I had two locations where my counselor worked out of and I couldn't get ahold of her to find out where to bring the items for this girl. I called my contact from Child & Family Services who originally connected me with her to see if she knew what location this counselor was working at on Friday. She said she wasn't sure, but I could drop the items off with her and someone from her organization would ensure they made it the client. Oh, and by the way, we'd like to give you 200 brand new books from an author who recently visited our organization if you're interested. Heck yeah! And what wonderful books they are! They're titled "So...what Color Were the Dinosaurs, Anyway?". It's a delightful twist to the idea that dinosaurs might have led to the birds we see today and even provides coloring pages at the end for children to create their own uniquely colored dinos. It's a great book about possibilities, dreams, and using the imagination. What a fabulous way to take children away for a little while and let them create their own world of dinosaurs. And now thanks to C&FS I can pass along this temporary relief from life's chaos to 200 children for them to enjoy. By providing for one, we can bring joy to many.

Putting life in perspective... what's really important?

2010-01-07T03:45:00.000-08:00

I'm obsessive compulsive. Yes, I admit it. Not severely enough to need psychological help, but enough that it probably is the root of my migraines, but that's a topic for another day. There are benefits to being OCD. I'm very organized, my house is usually clean, and I'm usually the first person to respond to teacher's requests in my kids take home folders. But there are days like today where it can be an obstacle. When I have a plan for the day, I don't adapt well to change. I had plans for today, BIG plans. I was going to catch up on my piles of laundry, clean up the kid's playroom which has been in disarray for a week, get in a hardy workout (New Year's Resolution), go to the grocery store and make a few meals to freeze and keep for later. But last night I received an email from Child & Family Services Stanley G. Falk School looking for help for one of their students. It's an urgent request, a young girl who has been coming to school without a coat and in need of some other cold weather items like sweaters and pants, hats and mittens. I was just downtown yesterday making my deliveries and I usually make all deliveries once a week, but occasionally there's a situation like this one that requires immediate attention. So do I let my OCD control me and keep my very important plans intact or do I let life interrupt me to put someone else's needs first? I guess my laundry will still be there tomorrow and my kid's playroom can be messy for one more day, and the grocery store can wait, and my New Year's Resolution can start tomorrow and my family can eat boxed macaroni and cheese for dinner. I can change someones life today, give them warmth with a new coat and hope that they're going to be okay and let them know someone cares. Yes, I think my needs can wait until tomorrow.

The joy of giving...

2010-01-06T17:41:00.000-08:00

Whoever came up with the phrase, "the joy of giving" really knew what they were talking about. There is no greater high than the feeling I receive every time I make a delivery to a family or child in need. So I'm starting this blog to share a little of that joy with you in hopes that you will find your own way to pay it forward or join me in my quest to give children hope for a future beyond the impoverished life they are in.

I'll begin by telling you a little about myself and how this journey started. I'm married with two children. As a mother, I discovered what a blessing our children are and how I would do anything to care for and protect my kids and to ensure they have the best I can provide for them. Seems pretty simple... love them, feed them, shelter them, and provide them with an education so they can go on to lead their own happy lives. (and hopefully give me grandchildren someday :) ) But this formula isn't so simple for many families who are homeless, suffering from job losses, disabilities, or just struggling to make ends meet. I felt compelled to help those families who can't help themselves. But how? What's my mission?

The idea of Wear 'n Share first came to light for me when I was at the Pediatrician's office with my children and I read an article about a teacher who said she had students who couldn't attend her school because their parents couldn't afford shoes for them to wear. Are you kidding me? If we don't find a way to keep these kids in school, how will we ever break the cycle of poverty for them? But what can I do? I'm just a mom, just one person. Can I make a difference? YES! I have 2 children with closets full of clothing and shoes that no longer fit them. There's 2 children's lives my family can personally affect. We can change the lives of 2 kids in this world! How cool is that?! And then I got to thinking about all the other moms with bags of clothing in their basements that their kids aren't wearing anymore. If I could get them to donate their items we could affect thousands of children's lives. Think of the difference we could make if we would all come together to help!

So I sent out email blasts to all my friends and family and told them to tell all their friends and family that I had this idea and I needed their help. It won't cost anything, just give me what you're not using anymore and I'll find a way to get it to the families who need it the most. That was step 2. Once the donations started coming in, I started contacting schools, churches, counselors, organizations, anyone who worked with or helped children in need to let them know Wear 'n Share is here to help. And once people started doing a little research and realized I was a legitimate ministry, the calls started flooding in, and the more the calls came the more the donations came. I'm so grateful to live in area where we have such a giving community. There are so many people who want to help and didn't know how and now they can. I had the vision, but it's the people who keep this dream alive and make it happen. The generous giving spirit of our Clarence and Williamsville and East Amherst community partnered with all the teachers, pastors, counselors, social workers, etc who work with the families in need directly and want to help them and make their lives better.

Wear 'n Share was created in June of 2009 and in only 7 months I'm working with over 25 churches, schools, counselors, and organizations to reach families in need. I currently service about 8-10 families a week. I have about 30 volunteers who make this all possible through their giving spirit by donating their time to help me sort donations and make deliveries. This ministry has grown so rapidly that I'm already in need of new space! I'm currently operating out of the basement of Get Heeled which is located at 6000 Goodrich road in Clarence Center. It's an ideal drop off location as it's so convenient and folks can drop off their donations anytime during store hours Monday-Saturday from 10:00AM-6:00PM and Thursdays they're open until 8:00PM. Unfortunately, however, the space is just too small for me to continue to grow and reach more families in need. I could be doing so much more if I had the room. I'm not a non profit, just doing on my own so I can't afford to buy a building, pay taxes, utilities, etc. which makes finding room a little tricky.

But that's not why I started this blog, although if anyone with a BIG generous heart would like to donate a building I would definitely consider it. :) My purpose in this is to have an opportunity to share some of my amazing experiences with you as they occur. Maybe hearing about some of the families helped through Wear 'n Share will change your life the way it has changed mine. I definitely hope some of the wonderful people who have shared their time or given donations to this cause will read this from time to time so they will hear about some of the families they have personally touched through their kindness. I can't wait to share the joy with you.

So to peak your interest for the next time you visit, I'll leave you with one of my personal favorite stories so far.... (Of course I will always leave out names in my experiences to maintain confidentiality. ) In November I was contacted by a teacher who wanted to help a woman out who worked at her school. She and her husband have 3 grown children of their own, with one still living with them at home. A neighbor of theirs dropped off her 3 young boys:2 year old, 4 year old, and 6 year old at her home one day and said she couldn't care for them anymore, and asked them to take them. These boys had lived a difficult life in their few short years so far with a father that encouraged 2 of the boys to abuse their brother since he came from another father. He abandoned them a few months prior to their mother dropping them off at her neighbor's house. This is obviously a tragic situation for these boys, and this wonderful mother and her husband who were well beyond a point in their life to care for 3 young boys suddenly had them. The outpouring of support from our community was astonishing. Not only did we have enough clothing to cover them for 2 years, but we had beds and car seats and toys and even a bike, I could go on and on. My garage was filled when they came in their van to pick everything up. They had officially adopted the boys just in time for Thanksgiving. I'm quite certain it was a holiday they will never forget with so much to be thankful for. The mother's eyes were filled with tears and the father couldn't even look at me as I know he was so touched. The kids were jumping up and down. It was an experience that I will always treasure, but what I remember the most was my conversation with the mother. I was telling her how wonderful it was that she was taking these boys into her home and giving them the family and a second chance at a happy life. I was so touched by her selflessness. And she so proudly told me, it wasn't her that made the decision, it was her 20'ish year old son. He had gotten home from his night shift job and woke her up in the middle of the night and said, "Mom, we have to keep these boys." She said, "Let's sleep on it and talk about it in the morning." But the next day he stayed true to his decision and the rest is history. She was beaming with pride when she told me and I told her she raised quite a son. She just looked down with tear-filled eyes. And that's exactly why I do this, for moments like that one.

I can't wait to share more. Thank for listening!